by Christina Sidberry
I’m going out on a limb to say that everyone at one point in their lives had some idealization of what they one day hoped their relationship would be, whether they are currently in a committed relationship or not.
The truth of the matter is that several of us find ourselves far from where we hoped to be. Whether this is a good or a bad thing, it is important to understand where we are, how we got there and how to move forward.
Self-Reflection
As we grow and develop our dreams change, but the core of our goals will still remain true. Maybe when you were younger you had an idealistic dream of finding someone who “loved YOU for YOU”. Lo and behold, you find yourself with a friend—with-benefits who forgot about the “friends” part. Maybe you are single and happy at a time everyone thought you would have been married with kids. Wherever you are, realizing how you have changed is a crucial part of the growth process.
Healthy Objectives
Despite what you want in life—one goal should be true for anybody: find someone who treats you with respect. In a world that celebrates generational themes of “Netflix and chil” or “#wastehistime2016”, this idea of honoring another person as a fellow human being has somehow become so far removed from reality.
What are healthy goals that you can set today to guarantee relational success in your future?
Keep Setting Goals
Single, taken, or married—as we grow in our lives and as we reach certain milestones, it is important to reevaluate and set new goals. Have you found someone that respects you? How do you make sure both of you are respecting each other daily? How do you expect to grow together? Stay tuned for more blogs about goal-setting and personal growth!
by Grace Sidberry |
This is the time of year that many people anticipate. For many it is a time of faith and traditions, a time to celebrate the promise of peace. For others it is a time of frenzied activity as they struggle to meet the demands of holiday preparations. The familiar customs of gift giving, feasting and spending time with family are a major part of this holiday season. However the festive scenes displayed on greeting cards and in busy shopping malls do not always represent what happens behind the closed doors of many homes. (more…)
by Grace Sidberry
Are you single and looking? Are you frustrated with the dating game out there? Does it seem that the people you’ve been dating recently are not interested in commitment? Maybe it’s time to take a look at how you’re approaching things.
Clarify your goals
People approach dating with different goals in mind. For some of you it’s an opportunity to get out, have fun with someone you enjoy, but you’re not necessarily interested in pursuing a committed relationship. For others who are single and looking for a long-term commitment, it’s an opportunity to find that special individual with whom you can make a life together. Ask yourself what you are looking for, and be honest. When you meet someone and as you are getting to know him or her, you will be better able to determine if your new love interest shares your goals and expectations.
Communicate your hopes and expectations
After dating for a while, you may realize that you both don’t want the same thing from a relationship. An honest conversation with your love interest is in order. Be wise and take time to consider your options. Regarding the critical issue of lasting commitment, trying to change the other person hardly ever works out well. Give yourself a timeframe to decide whether or not you want to let the relationship go and move on. This is important because the more time you spend with someone, the more likely you are to develop a stronger emotional bond. So if you are leaning towards ending things, don’t give yourself more heartache than you need to by waiting too long.
Be prepared to live with your decision
If you choose to continue the relationship and see what happens, be prepared for disagreements and conflicts about this issue. You may be tempted to ignore the obvious signs that you have different goals, because you so badly want things to work out. Ignoring those signs sets you up for even greater conflict as the relationship progresses. Too often when couples begin their relationship, they minimize or overlook certain aspects of their partner’s personality because they are so love struck. As time goes by those personality quirks become more difficult to tolerate; so you need to decide whether you can learn to love and accept your partner as is.
Being honest with yourself, communicating openly with your partner and listening to the perspective of trusted friends and others who care about you are all helpful as you consider what to do. The possibility of having a viable relationship and your happiness depends on your thoughtful contemplation.
