Whether you’re married or you’re in a long-term, committed relationship, feeling unappreciated in a relationship is common. While there are many factors that contribute to this feeling, no one wants to feel as though their partner doesn’t value them as much as they should.  

How to Feel More Appreciated in Your Relationship

Whether they aren’t giving you the same level of attention or they’re not communicating properly, a lack of appreciation can quickly cause any relationship to take a turn for the worse. Though feeling unappreciated can be particularly disheartening, in many cases, your partner may not even realize how they are treating you. 

To build a stronger relationship, these feelings must be addressed. If you are feeling unappreciated in your marriage or relationship, take the following suggestions into consideration:

Express Your Needs and Feelings

Though there are times when our loved ones fail to appreciate us, in many situations, they may have no idea how we’re feeling. In the event that you feel unappreciated, one of the most important steps to take is to reach out and talk to them about your feelings and needs.

It’s best to openly communicate your feelings conversationally. Discussing how you feel gives your partner the chance to truly hear how you feel without getting the impression that they are being attacked. As you discuss the lack of appreciation, avoid accusing them or placing blame. Instead, point out the situations or actions that led to you feeling overlooked and unappreciated. This will give your partner the chance to step back and understand their role in what you’re experiencing. 

Analyze the Situation

Just as many partners don’t realize that they’re causing their significant others to feel unappreciated, many of us don’t realize that we have control over how we respond to certain situations. In some instances, what may seem like a lack of appreciation may be poor communication. If you’re feeling unappreciated, take a second to determine whether or not these feelings are influenced by other factors. 

Understanding your emotions and your mindset at this time will help you separate your feelings from your partner’s intentions and actions. This will help you better understand the situation, which will allow you to adjust your mindset accordingly. 

Share What Makes You Feel Valued

We all have a preferred way in which we want to be shown love. You may think of this as a preferred love language. If your spouse or partner isn’t aware of what your preferred love language, they likely won’t understand the most effective way to make you feel appreciated. Determining which one of the five love languages you respond to will help you:

  • Words of affirmation
  • Acts of service
  • Receiving gifts
  • Quality time
  • Physical touch

Learning to speak each others’ preferred love language will help both of you to feel valued in your relationship. 

Know Your Worth

Appreciation must start with you. Understanding your own value will help you better address a lack of appreciation. Know your worth, what you deserve, and how valuable you are. You’re someone that deserves to be treasured, loved unconditionally, and treated with respect.

Actively loving yourself and understanding your worth will shift your perspective. Whether it changes your perception of your relationship or inspires a conversation about respect with your partner, the more you understand your value, the more your partner will as well. 

Appreciation is a significant part of any relationship. Keep these tips in mind as you actively work to strengthen your love relationship.