Put yourself in the driver’s seat and express gratitude. When you do, you will positively influence your emotions and your love relationship.

Cultivate Gratitude and Change Yourself

In a 24-7 social media environment you can’t help but compare your life to people you are following. You might feel that you don’t measure up. It may be that you are unhappy with your looks – you think you aren’t attractive enough. Perhaps it’s the lifestyle that you crave and you wish that you could travel, have the nice car or house like the person you are following on social media. You may feel that you’re not where you thought you would or should be at this particular point in your life. These kinds of thoughts lead to feelings of disappointment, stress and depression.

If you want to positively influence your mood and how your life unfolds, cultivate gratitude. New York Times best selling author Janice Kaplan spent a year living gratefully. She documented how it changed her life and relationships for the better in her book, “The Gratitude Diaries”. There are simple ways to cultivate gratitude in your life.

Try this exercise. Each morning identify at least one thing that you’re grateful for. It need not be complicated, maybe you’re grateful for being able to get up, or maybe you are grateful for your job, even if it’s not the perfect job. Perhaps you are grateful for your family.

Identify the focus of your gratitude and write it down on a Gratitude List. You may prefer to keep a Gratitude Journal or you may want to make a note in the Memo section of your phone. Keep your list where you can review it periodically. When you do, you’ll re-experience the positive feeling that comes when you focus on the things you appreciate.

Cultivate Gratitude and Benefit Your Love Relationship

Experiencing and expressing gratitude also benefits your relationship. It’s important to express your gratitude to your partner. If you are like most people, you tend to focus on the things your partner says or does that annoy or upset you. You may find yourself focusing more on how your partner has failed to live up to your expectations, while you downplay the “little things” your partner does that you do appreciate.

Perhaps you rationalize that those “little things” are basic expectations in your relationship and you shouldn’t have to acknowledge them. However if your partner stopped doing the “little things” that you have come to expect and that you take for granted, you would definitely miss them. Instead make an effort to genuinely express your gratitude to your partner for some of the simple things that he or she does that make your life better. These include preparing a meal, doing laundry, grocery shopping, taking care of the bills, accompanying you to a family event, sharing in childcare responsibilities. You can express appreciation for the time and effort taken to do these things.

Experiencing and expressing gratitude benefits your relationship in two ways. Firstly, when you take time to look for and express appreciation for the things your partner does, it helps to create a positive shift in how you look at your partner and how you feel towards your partner. Secondly when you express gratitude to your partner, it changes how your mate responds to you. Your partner will feel emotionally closer to you. Your loved one will also be more inclined to continue making an effort to impress and please you.

Here is an experiment that will benefit your love relationship. It’s a gratitude letter that you will write secretly over the course of a week and give to your partner at the end of the week.

• Each day for one week, tell your partner one thing that you genuinely appreciate.
• Privately write down your expressed words in a letter, sharing details about why you appreciate that item.
• At the end of the week give the letter to your partner. Watch and see what happens, see how you feel and how it impacts your relationship.

It would be great to hear your story, feel free to come back and share in the comments below.