Are you single and looking? Are you frustrated with the dating game out there? Does it seem that the people you’ve been dating recently are not interested in commitment? Maybe it’s time to take a look at how you’re approaching things.
Clarify your goals
People approach dating with different goals in mind. For some of you it’s an opportunity to get out, have fun with someone you enjoy, but you’re not necessarily interested in pursuing a committed relationship. For others who are single and looking for a long-term commitment, it’s an opportunity to find that special individual with whom you can make a life together. Ask yourself what you are looking for, and be honest. When you meet someone and as you are getting to know him or her, you will be better able to determine if your new love interest shares your goals and expectations.
Communicate your hopes and expectations
After dating for a while, you may realize that you both don’t want the same thing from a relationship. An honest conversation with your love interest is in order. Be wise and take time to consider your options. Regarding the critical issue of lasting commitment, trying to change the other person hardly ever works out well. Give yourself a timeframe to decide whether or not you want to let the relationship go and move on. This is important because the more time you spend with someone, the more likely you are to develop a stronger emotional bond. So if you are leaning towards ending things, don’t give yourself more heartache than you need to by waiting too long.
Be prepared to live with your decision
If you choose to continue the relationship and see what happens, be prepared for disagreements and conflicts about this issue. You may be tempted to ignore the obvious signs that you have different goals, because you so badly want things to work out. Ignoring those signs sets you up for even greater conflict as the relationship progresses. Too often when couples begin their relationship, they minimize or overlook certain aspects of their partner’s personality because they are so love struck. As time goes by those personality quirks become more difficult to tolerate; so you need to decide whether you can learn to love and accept your partner as is.
Being honest with yourself, communicating openly with your partner and listening to the perspective of trusted friends and others who care about you are all helpful as you consider what to do. The possibility of having a viable relationship and your happiness depends on your thoughtful contemplation.