Locker Room Talk

In this wild and chaotic presidential campaign season, we have all been stunned by the news stories revealing crude conversations that have been referred to as “locker room talk.” For those of us women who have never been in a male locker room, we are left to wonder if what we heard really represents what men discuss in private. No doubt, this is the kind of comment that a man might say to prove that he has a magnetic charm with women. However most women find these comments highly offensive and degrading.

Why all the uproar about locker room talk? The answer is that this kind of banter reflects a pattern of thinking. This pattern of thinking reflects an attitude that shapes how the man treats the significant woman in his life. The intricate dance of a successful intimate relationship between man and woman relies on certain well-established principles. These include mutual respect, trustworthiness, kindness and consideration, just to name a few. When these principles are ignored, problems result. When couples make an effort to guide their relationship by these principles, they have a better chance for a happy relationship.

The Family’s Role

These principles are best learned and practiced at a young age. Parents are in a perfect position to serve as role models for their children. The incubator of family life is the original ideal atmosphere for shaping young minds to understand what it is to be respected and respectable. Parents and other significant adults have a great responsibility and opportunity to teach children how to treat family members and friends with respect and good manners.

Society’s Role

On a larger scale as a society we all bear the responsibility of raising the standard of what is considered decent and suitable behavior. We have become too accepting of the steady diet of vulgarity in our social interactions, both personally and from all forms of media. This has created the consequence of numbed sensibilities that affect the psyche of men and women alike. Of great concern is the negative impact on a woman’s sense of worth. Ask any woman who has suffered emotional, verbal or sexual abuse or harassment. Along with a loss of self-worth come shame and a fear of retaliation if she speaks out. The belief that “this is the way things are,” allows for an unspoken acceptance of the behaviors and the attitudes.

Men who demean or disrespect women are not immune from negative consequences. They suffer from a distortion in their inflated perception of self and the charm they believe that they are displaying to women. In addition, the attitude of disrespect and disdain can interfere with the development of trust and intimacy in their personal relationship with a partner.

It isn’t too late to change the conversation. By making a conscious effort to practice civility, we can shift away from the hurt and misunderstanding that helps to tarnish our most significant relationships.

This is an opportune time to change locker room conversations. Let’s reclaim civility!

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