Are you creating an amazing Love Story?
What’s your love story? No I’m not talking about the story of how you met your mate, I’m talking about the story you are creating together, now. You see your love story is unfolding and if you are like most people, it is unfolding in a haphazard manner. Most likely you are rolling along with the ebbs and flows of life without realizing that you have an opportunity to craft your love story in a powerful way.
You may have read a recent news article about an elderly Canadian couple, Wolfram and Anita Gottschalk, who after 62 years of marriage were placed in different nursing homes. The social media world was heartbroken at viewing the tearful goodbyes as Mr. Gottschalk was forced to leave his wife due to a lack of space in the facility where his wife lived. Thankfully after 8 months of separation the Gottschalks were reunited and are living together again.
The love that this couple developed over the course of their six decades together is clearly evident; this is the kind of bond that most people desire but fail to achieve. You may wonder, “What is the trick for creating a beautiful love story?” First take a look at the story that you are creating now; without realizing it each day you are adding to your story. You want to determine whether your day-to-day choices and experiences are on track to lead you to the love story you deeply desire. Each decision and action contributes to your story.
Your current Love Story
Here are some questions to get you started: Does your current relationship reflect what you deeply want? If you are unhappy in your relationship, what is the narrative you tell yourself about why you are so unhappy? Think about other areas of your life that impact your love relationship such as your faith, health, career, and family finances. Do you feel satisfied in each of these areas? If not what is the story why you are dissatisfied? If things continue as they are currently going, what is the likely outcome for your love and your life story?
Go ahead, take a moment and write down your answers to these questions. This exercise can be quite eye opening. You might not realize it but the story you’ve created about your love relationship and the other important areas of your life significantly impacts how your life together grows. Your thoughts, beliefs and expectations come directly from the story you tell yourself and they shape your daily choices. Too often those thoughts, beliefs and expectations hinder you from achieving what you dearly want in love and life.
You might be thinking that your partner, over whom you have no control, plays a key role in your love story. This is true, but rather than shifting the blame to your partner for an unhappy story, recognize the incredible power that you have to choose how you respond to your spouse. If you take steps to change the story you tell yourself about your love relationship, it will influence how you interact with your partner. It will also positively influence how you experience life together.
The Love Story you desire
Imagine your love story, as you would like it to be in the future. In five, fifteen or fifty years what do you want your love relationship to look like? What legacy would you like to create for your children? By becoming aware of your current story, then deliberately taking steps to rewrite it, you can actually shift from the prospect of an unfulfilling love story to one that is deeply rewarding.
Click here for an in depth guide to help you create your Amazing Love Story!
This advice is spot on. I didn’t realize it, but I already have a narrative about my marriage. And whenever something happens, I see the situation through the prism of that unhealthy narrative. That is horribly unfair to my husband and not productive for me. I am working on writing a new narrative and am doing the work of exploring where my first story came from in the first place. Much of it has to do with my parents’ marriage and my mother’s experience. And I picked up some stuff from my long-held fears. And finally, by not letting things go in my marriage, I was adding those elements too. It is not easy to look at oneself so honestly and I start and stop in this work as a result. Overall though, I feel relieved and hopeful. By writing a different story, I am getting to look at things in a different light and see different options and itnerpretations. Wish me luck on this ongoing labor of love. I want to be married 62 years (or more!). Great article – thanks!
So glad to hear Cynthia! Here’s wishing you all the very best as you write your story.
Good stuff! My mom shared this with me, and I posted it on our Pre-Marriage Facebook Fanpage. Here is the link to that post https://www.facebook.com/idoforalways/posts/1329484130409467
Thank you Trudy!
Ouch! “You might be thinking that your partner, over whom you have no control, plays a key role in your love story.” So it’s time to man-up and change my story. Thank you for the article.