You’ve waited a long time to find the right person to share your dreams and your life. You found someone and you thought they were that special person – that special someone with whom you could create a great love relationship. Yet, something doesn’t feel right. The communication doesn’t flow, there are annoying little habits and you just can’t seem to understand each other. It feels so overwhelming! What do you do?

How to Create a Great Love Relationship

Make it your priority to learn about your partner

It’s as if you are a student and your partner is the expert who will teach you about himself. Even though you may have been in a relationship for a long time, there is always more to learn and more to understand about the love of your life. Your partner will think differently than you do about certain topics. Their preferences and needs will vary from yours.

You tend to view life in a particular way and oftentimes without realizing it you expect your partner to think, feel and act as you do. When reality differs from what you expect, you may become irritated or upset. The best thing you can do is to accept the fact that there will be differences. It helps to remember that you cannot change your partner; you can only change yourself. As you do, you will need to learn how to manage your response to the things that you do not like about your partner.

Realize that your relationship is a blend of the unique qualities from both of you. The challenge and the triumph comes when you learn to respect and appreciate each other’s differences and you learn to integrate them together to create a cooperative partnership.

Make it your business to strive to meet your partner’s needs

A little understood truth about love relationships is that creating a healthy relationship requires you to think differently than you did when you were single. No longer can you focus exclusively on what pleases you, a healthy love relationship requires that you focus on how to please your partner.

To accomplish this you will likely need to step out of your comfort zone at times by doing things that your partner may enjoy, that may not be your favorite thing to do. You may be a homebody but your partner enjoys going out to activities. Your willingness to participate in an evening out would mean a lot. Stretching beyond the limits of what you enjoy doing is self-sacrificial; this is part of what love is all about.

You may ask, “What if I’m the only one sacrificing, aren’t my needs also important?” Resoundingly the answer is Yes! Here’s another little understood truth about relationships, when you create an atmosphere of kindness, consideration and self-sacrificial love, your partner will be more inclined to return the favor.

Clarify your goals for your  love relationship

Being in a relationship is similar to being on a journey. When you travel you have a destination in mind, in your relationship it is important to clarify the goals that you are trying to accomplish together. If Charlie and Amy have different goals for their relationship they are likely to experience greater misunderstanding, conflict and heartache.

Early in a relationship, the goal may simply be to get to know each other and to have fun. As time progresses it helps to discuss where the relationship is going. This is the kind of conversation that can create a sense of panic in some individuals. If this is the case, it suggests that there are underlying issues that are likely affecting the relationship, that need to be addressed.

The question of, “Where are we going in our relationship?” is valuable even if you are already in a committed long-term relationship or marriage. Taking time out to clarify your goals together can strengthen your sense of purpose, focus and unity. It also gives you an opportunity to correct your course if you realize that you have been heading in the wrong direction.

As you will come to realize, creating a successful love relationship is possible. It is complex and requires patience and effort. Having mutual goals helps to provide you with motivation to keep working through the challenging times. As you grow in your understanding of your partner, you will experience the kind of fulfillment that makes your personal sacrifice worthwhile.

Would you like more tools for creating a great love relationship? Check out our eCourse 30 Days to Better Love.